Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Guest Post: Wednesday Wrap-Up

Hey everyone—

Eric here. I've got some intense sales meetings to attend this week—more on those later—so today I'm leaving you in the capable hands of Laura, a blogger who is (possibly) more mysterious than I am. I know it's very early in the blog's life for me to leave you with a guest blogger unannounced, but I promise I'll be back tomorrow. Enjoy!

The ever-gracious Eric has agreed to try an experiment (although he nixed the mad scientist lab coats and black rubber gloves), and so I've put together publishing links from around the web for your reading digestion. But if you hate this post, feel free to leave mean, trollish comments saying things like, "This suxs, bro," and I will cry myself to sleep. I can't promise I will stop posting, but the tears: those I can pledge.

Before you sharpen your tongues on the whetstone of my feelings, however, read this depressing news—even if you're an established and successful author, you will still be rushed to market higglety pigglety because the Dan Brown juggernaut is coming to town. I hear (from Eric) that putting a bunch of great books out at the same time doesn't mean more books are bought. It just means all sales go directly to Dan Brown. (Note: subject matter for a future post. —E) They don't even pass Go. With enough sales, they might get $200 in royalties, but they'll probably lose it all on Boardwalk anyway.

If you're smart, after The Lost Symbol is turned into a movie—that will make more in opening weekend than the rest of us will in a lifetime—you can write the unofficial prequel (Robert Langdon in high school, unraveling the mystery of the encoded locker!). Joe Quennan at the Guardian will show you how movie novelization (which he spells "novelisation," which is adorable) works.

On this sinister side of publishing, we find that the newest installment about Anne of Green Gables (coming out soon) is going to be moody and dark. To which I say, listen, Lucy Maud Montgomery, I don’t read to be in my real life.

Also dark and exceedingly popular: zombies. My big problem here is calling zombies “the new vampire”—you try staking a zombie through the heart, and see how much good it does you. Also, vampires are all about sexuality. There are no books about sexy teenage zombies who sparkle as they decompose...wait, dibs! Mine!

In legit sad news, Charles Brown died, and Bibliophile Stalker has compiled a list of tributes (all link lists pale in comparison to those of the Stalker, and I for one won’t even try to compete). Frank McCourt is said to be near death, and Diana Wynne Jones couldn’t attend a really cool weekend conference about her work because of a recent lung cancer diagnosis. Skype your authors while you can, people!

Coming full circle, we have the birth of Full Circle Editions, a new publishing house that is not “profit oriented, market driven or celebrity ridden.” Wait, I'm confused. Could you be saying that all celebrities aren’t great writers? That Lauren Conrad is not the next Faulkner? This is not what Family Guy led me to believe.

When Conrad wins an award, then we’ll talk (please God, let that never happen, you’re just making my life moodier and darker). Meanwhile, the Shirley Jackson Awards just announced winners, Omnivoracious wants your votes on the best National Book Award winners, and Alison Flood hates on Michael Moorcock’s British Fantasy Award (is that even legal?).

In potentially retracted award drama, in Egypt the Muslim Brotherhood is dead set against author Sayed al-Qimni keeping the State Award of Merit. The Brotherhood may be banned in Egypt as a political party, thanks to two decades plus of Egyptian “emergency laws”—nice democracy, Mubarak—but they will call people apostates to their hearts' content. Also, Boyd Morrison wins the first self-published-on-Kindle-to-book-deal award. Which exists as of: now.

Not convinced this is a good feature? Don't see any relevance here to book sales? Me either, but I now resort to the ace up my sleeve: bribery. Win a free copy of Norse Code! Sci-Fi DVD sale at Amazon! Savings at B&N with a coupon! Feel free to bribe me right back—bloggers have tremendous sway, I hear.

All love, hate, and zombie survival plans in the comments.


  1. Zombies ARE the new vampires, though I find them disgusting. Vampires are undead but still rockin' -- plus the blood sucking is bound to give you a nice hickey. Zombies, on the other hand, are half-decomposed and lose body parts. #sexyfail

    Fun post, thanks for the links!

  2. Fun read and good links! Fear not. No rotten tomatoes here.


  3. On the one hand, whenever a blog specifically says that someone should (or should not) post a certain response, I'm always inclined to post said response. It might be trolling, but I see it more as answering retorical questions. Have you ever imagined a world run by goats? Nope! Game over!

    On the other hand, an amusing read, which is saying a lot for blog round ups, which can be done well but often aren't. So I guess I'll have to keep the "clever" sarcasm to myself and just say well done!

  4. I want to make you cry, but first I'm trying to figure out who you -are-. Did I miss that?

    Also: how dark can YA be? Something like Speak, though it's about rape, doesn't strike me as particularly dark in a way that, say, the Andrew Vachss books are dark. Opinions?

  5. Heya Anon,

    I'm new! Depending on reader response, Eric's work schedule, and of course everyone's patience with my shenanigans, I might be posting from time to time. And I appreciate you holding off on making me cry until you had some real information (which, I realize, I did not really give).

    As to dark YA, I don't think the next Anne of Green Gables installment will be, say, Tender Morsels (gang rape and incest and bears, oh my!), but the series has already toed the line of evil with its treatment of life without puffed sleeves...

  6. Hey Meg, my world IS run by goats. I even have a webcam on them so you can see. Chickens, too, and a bunny. If you can no longer go to Anne of Green Gables for a nice escape, at least you can have a respite in my little corner of the universe.

  7. Delightful and pithy way to recieve a nice digest of the publishing world as of now. It's hard to get literary news unless you know some good sources, thanks for the links!!
    Sad to hear about DWJ :(

  8. Useful thanks! The book chain I work at is trying to push Dan Brown presales... and after reading your blog I realize, it's a good idea really. Get them to spend the money now, and still have money for someone else in the fall! ;-)

  9. Hilarious post! Thanks for the great read and all the links :)

  10. Hi Laura - enjoyed your post! I'm happy to send you a discount deal as part of your "bribery trade". Also, it's great that bloggers have so much sway, but that's only after they figure out how to get a lot of people to actually read their posts. Writers and bloggers usually have alot to say, they just need people to READ, READ, READ!! OK - your discount deal is a free book from me (mine, of course). Just let me know how to send it to you, and I'll put it in the mail (unless you're an eReader fan and I can get you that as well.) Hope you post again soon!

  11. Thanks for the response, Laura. I've got a few novels out (with Doubleday) but I'm new to YA. Hey, I'm not following a trend--I had a kid! I'm innocent, really!

    Now I've gotta check Tender Morsels. I'm a little worried it might make -me- cry.

  12. Hi K L Romo,

    Hurrah for bribery! Unfortunately, I am working on my mysterious-ness (mysteriosity?) and must pass on the gift, but I hold you up as a paragon of the qualities I expect from this blog's readers--business saavy and a willingness to read this blog until eyes give out.

    And, in the spirit of Pimp My Novel, best of luck with your sales!

  13. Ah, but there ARE sexy teenage zombies. Many of them. Check out