Revenge of the Round Up

Friday round up time with Laura:

Hello, friends and foes! It's been quite some time since our last round up, and I've pined for you terribly. There's been a lot of important things going on, which, you know, okay, but also a lot of fun things. And I'm nothing if not pro-fun. And stay tuned for the end, where I will list resources for you that list books you can buy for people as gifts, and uphold your mantle as "book bringer."

Let's start with the truly absurd. Sarah Palin says she reads! Little does she realize, going to see the Clifford's big red musical doesn't count as reading. This is almost as good as Chinese publishers releasing an erotic translation of Grimm fairy tales by accident. That's right, Germanic fairy tales were translated into Japanese, sexed up, translated into Chinese, and published for children. Hilarity ensues? It's almost as tragically funny as the comments on this article about MFAs versus the NYC book scene.

Alas, we have no place for absurdity in this cold, hard world. You know why? Because Christine O'Donnell has a book deal. Am I surprised? No. Do I wish I were hot enough to jump on this bandwagon of women who know very little and deliver political soundbites? Absolutely. I bet in the end of her book the recession is the butler's fault, even though the butler almost never does it, whatever "it" is. Murder? Usually? Natalie Portman commited book murder, but got a really cute purse out of the deal, so I'm okay with it. Frankenstein might commit murder on the big screen soon, too. Barnes and Nobles and Borders might murder each other and merge, rising from their joint ashes, which could be cool, but probably not. And hey, stuff about the real murder that inspired Stieg Larsson! Super fun.

All of this murder talk makes me think of murder's brother in arms, cash money. Contemporary writers just missed a golden goose, as Oprah chose Charles Dickens for her book club. He's dead, Oprah. He doesn't need your seal of approval to eat anymore. Romance writers are rolling the cash money as romance e-books thrive. Now the Hunger Games movie has a $60 million budget, which I'm happy to help them spend if they need, and Smashwords helped a single dad self publish himself from poverty to wealth. You heard it here first, folks: self publishing makes everyone everywhere a millionaire. Immediately. Always.

As for your lists, I give you: the best 2010 crime books, the books you need to be a critic, and must gives from Salonica and Omnivoracious. Don't forget these 10 trends in kids' lit while you're buying, and remember to buy your kids whatever they want to read, yeah?

Until next week!