Fridays Were So Much Better When TGIF Was On

Friday round up, Laura style:

So last week went round up-ly awry, and I apologize. I will make it up to you with compliments. Ahem: the holes in your earlobes ever make me think fondly of the pock-marked landscapes upon the lunar surface. And you blink thrice warned that I can but think of the eyebrows of Richard Nixon covering a hostess of furry Twinkies. Impressed? The Surrealist Compliment Generator comes to the rescue, saving yet another relationship!

Yes, I'm (clearly) back on the train of internet love. But where else would I get the exclusive trailer for Under the Dome? How could you get electric literature without Electric Literature? Why else would the Nook be Barnes & Noble's best seller? Reading is fun in all sorts of mediums, like Kanye West's book of illustrated lyrics (sidebar: for someone who doesn't ever want a book's autograph, he puts out a lot of books), or Ang Lee's interpretation of Life of Pi, or the animated Zeitoun. And apparently costume type period dramas sell books like crazy.

Stephen King also sells books like crazy, and is putting out a graphic novel. And while he's a celebrity who writes books, he's not the kind people have been chatting about when discussing celebrity books killing or supporting publishing. Sarah Palin, with her million plus dollar advance (at least: no one knows!) is exactly what people are talking about. And yes, it's a loose interpretation to call it "Sarah Palin's book," since she didn't technically "write" it, but hey, if Sinclair Lewis ghostwrote, there must be something to it. Question: if I refer to Palin as "Turdsworth," based on her equivalent worth to a turd, is it classy because I'm quoting Byron?

If somehow that's not classy, then I'm out of classy ideas. And I can't even fall back on having good grammar, because that would make me classist and snooty. Also not classy in the new zombie romance anthology. I'm not pleased with this, as it's a slippery slope to zombie erotica (oh God I just thought of a zombie losing a limb mid-coitus and I can't get the image out of my head). And while some people are saying vampires won't die (get it? Because they're undead?)--although Anne Rice is saying angels are the new vampires--I firmly believe the zombie problem should get more attention. That, or Sully "I am awesome at landing planes on the Hudson"'s book should get our monies. Apparently people buy more books when they're cheaper, e-book or Walmart style, but we should really spend all that money on Sully and fighting zombies.

These cheap books might be the death of publishing, book sharing might be the death of publishing, Stephen King is delaying his e-book because e-books are the death of publishing...is anyone else bored of this conversation? I'll tell you how alive publishing is. It is so alive that someone made a list of reasons the novel isn't dying. It's so alive that a whole book festival says so. It is so alive that Isaac Asimov is writing a trilogy from beyond the grave. Robert Jordan isn't technically finishing The Wheel of Time from beyond the grave, but there's a really cute video of how his widow picked the writer.

When you go to pick up your (almost almost almost) last book in the series, remember to practice good bookstore etiquette. If an author is reading, be nice--a lot of energy went into organizing the tour. And don't shove when picking up your free copy of Gregory Maguire's new book.

That's all from this end. See you next week, with more library vandalism and cheap, lazy aggregation.

Tip O' the Week: Chasing Trends

Steampunk is the new vampire! Wait, no, it's apocalypse! Or is it Christian vampires? Perhaps zombies?

If you're currently penning a fantasy novel centering on a pious zombie vampire from an alternate 19th century in which science/alchemy/the Bible has predicted the earth's impending doom, uh, please send it to me, because that could be awesome. More importantly, though, stop doing it.

Everyone wants to be The Next Big Thing™, and no one's going to fault you for that. It's important to remember, however, that what's big now isn't necessarily what's going to be big in one to five years, which is probably the earliest any book you're currently writing/shopping to agents/editors is going to be published. I don't know about you, but I don't think vampires are still going to be cool in five years (at least, not as cool as they are now). Zombies will probably suffer a similar fate.

If you've got representation now and your novel seems to be along the same lines as other novels that are just starting to become big, that's great news, and you'll probably luck out and catch part of the wave of whatever craze is coming next. If not, then you may not. Luck is a big factor, friends. Talent and hard work are necessary, but can only get you so far.

The moral of today's post: write the best book you can, do everything you can for it if/when it's acquired, and don't worry about what the other kids are writing. Just like with stocks, trying to time the market is probably only going to get you burned.

Next week: Monday Mailbag, featuring responses to your questions!

Walmart.com: Part Deux

As I recall, there was some disagreement in the comments section of last Tuesday's post re: the Walmart vs. Amazon imbroglio, so I wanted to clarify a couple of points.

I agree with those of you who (correctly) pointed out that retailers like Walmart and Target don't stock title counts anywhere near comparable to those sported by the major chains or independent book stores. They generally only take expected bestsellers (books by big-name authors like Patricia Cornwell or James Patterson, or by existing celebrities, most of them actors or politicians). I remain concerned, however, for the following reasons:

· The price war is over bestselling titles, which is where publishers make a significant amount of revenue. Should a company like Walmart gain a significant majority of market share in those bestselling titles, they may (and I think they will) use that opportunity to dictate discounting and pricing to the publishers and for the rest of the industry. As I previously mentioned, I think this is potentially disastrous for the major chains and independent stores, some of which are barely turning a profit in the current economic climate as it is.
· In my opinion, Amazon's primary advantage over Walmart.com is their superior selection. Should discounting escalate beyond the current handful of bestellers, though—e.g. into romance titles, children's books, and so on—or if pricing continues to drop on currently discounted titles, say to $8.49, then to $8.00, then to $7.99, then I think the industry is going to be in serious trouble.
· While you, gentle readers, do represent an important subsection of the book-buying market, you are not necessarily representative of the much sought-after bestseller buyer. These are the folks who are going to determine who wins The Great Book War of Aught Nine: the men and women buying The Scarpetta Factor, The Lost Symbol, Going Rogue, The Secret, and so on. If they hand Walmart victory, it's going to be a rough time for the chains and the independents.
· Finally, as was also mentioned last Tuesday, the advent of e-books is going to completely reconfigure the pricing structure of books, which (in my opinion) the industry is, to its detriment, trying to put off dealing with as long as possible. As I said on Monday, I think forcing the industry to not only negotiate the transition from print books to e-books, but to simultaneously completely alter its long-held pricing structure for those print books, is going to be more stress than it can bear in the short term. Maybe I'm not giving them enough credit, but I really think that this kind of change needs to be enacted slowly (not publishing-slowly, but still slowly), and Walmart et al are not going to sit around and lose market share waiting for that to happen.

The Fame! The Fortune!

...or at least, the fame. A busy day today, dear readers, so I'm directing you to an interview I recently did with Shelli Johannes. Enjoy!

Power to the People

Due to an unforeseen Internet outage, Laura and I were unable to bring you your Saturday round-up here at PMN. A thousand apologies, dear readers, and I promise to make it up to you this week with some additional content (as well as answers to your questions).

Since we were round-up-less last week, we weren't able to give our scheduled shout-out to Lit Drift, so I'll do it now: Lit Drift (http://www.litdrift.com), a "brand-spanking new blog, resource, and community dedicated to the art & craft of fiction in the 21st century," is now open for business. They've got all kinds of awesome content, including daily creative prompts and (get this!) FREE BOOKS on Fridays, so be sure to check them out post-haste.

Oh, and before I forget—they also accept reader submissions, so if you'd like to contribute anything (fiction, bar napkin doodles, manifestos, original power ballads to your grandma, &c), send it along!

Now then. As you may recall from last week, I mentioned the price war between Amazon, Walmart, and Target being a source of worry for many of us here in the book publishing industry. Well, on Thursday of last week, the American Booksellers Association drafted a letter to the Antitrust Division of the United States Department of Justice, asking that the USDOJ investigate these practices to be sure they don't break all sorts of laws. I applaud the ABA's move because I agree that these price moves are predatory, that they are harmful to the market, and that, to quote John Grisham's agent, David Gernert, "If readers come to believe that the value of a new book is $10, publishing as we know it is over."

To be clear: I do not think Walmart will single-handedly kill publishing. But I think that if Walmart economics are applied to the book publishing industry, the speed and the immensity of the changes that will be involved will almost certainly change it for the worse. Nobody's going to bail out the book publishing industry if it starts to founder. E-books will soon totally and permanently alter its landscape, and if we add the financial stress of a major bidding war among Walmart, Amazon, and Target for control of the bestseller marketplace—and remember, gentle readers, that's where the money is made—we could see a drastically different book market in the next five years.

Round Up From the Ground Up

It's Friday, so Eric is out, Laura is in, and (o joy! O rapture!) it's time for a weekly round up.

Way back last week I had a crisis of conscience. Am I spending too much time on the Internet? Should I take an Internet hiatus? Am I potentially a crazy who cannot function face-to-face with sensible people? I decided no, probably not, and irrelevant, respectively. But I'm still not writing a round up today.

Instead, you guys are going to round up for me (what, no, this is not a gimmick because I procrastinated all week, how dare you accuse me, etc. etc.)!

I realized that I'm not spending too much time on the Internet—I might be spending too little, as I still have time to sleep. But I haven't updated my Google Reader (my tiny baby Jesus who blesses me with e-gifts) in a while, and I'm probably missing some good publishing blogs out there. So, I ask you: which blogs should I be reading? And what were your favorite publishing stories this week?

I'll incorporate the blogs and news you leave in the comments in a round up that will go up Saturday morning that you can read with your brunch-type shenanigans. Also feel free to leave comments about round up construction—would you prefer more links about industry news? About writing? About being a writer? About new (and old) sweet books and reviews of said books? I may not listen, since the Internet has stolen my social skills, but you never know.

Also, last week's contest to come up with a celebrity to endorse a book was won by bingol, who has Roman Polanski pimping Lolita. In a word: ha!

Welcome to Crazy Go Nuts University in the comments.

Give My Creation... LIFE!

In the spirit of the upcoming Halloween holiday (and the topic of yesterday's post), I've decided to experiment with polling here on PMN. Blogger (as far as I know) doesn't support polls in posts, only as sidebar widgets, so I'm going to have to go third party on this one. If any of you happen to have expertise in this area, please post in the comments!

Now then, today's poll:



Have at it!