Friday, December 10, 2010

Revenge of the Round Up

Friday round up time with Laura:

Hello, friends and foes! It's been quite some time since our last round up, and I've pined for you terribly. There's been a lot of important things going on, which, you know, okay, but also a lot of fun things. And I'm nothing if not pro-fun. And stay tuned for the end, where I will list resources for you that list books you can buy for people as gifts, and uphold your mantle as "book bringer."

Let's start with the truly absurd. Sarah Palin says she reads! Little does she realize, going to see the Clifford's big red musical doesn't count as reading. This is almost as good as Chinese publishers releasing an erotic translation of Grimm fairy tales by accident. That's right, Germanic fairy tales were translated into Japanese, sexed up, translated into Chinese, and published for children. Hilarity ensues? It's almost as tragically funny as the comments on this article about MFAs versus the NYC book scene.

Alas, we have no place for absurdity in this cold, hard world. You know why? Because Christine O'Donnell has a book deal. Am I surprised? No. Do I wish I were hot enough to jump on this bandwagon of women who know very little and deliver political soundbites? Absolutely. I bet in the end of her book the recession is the butler's fault, even though the butler almost never does it, whatever "it" is. Murder? Usually? Natalie Portman commited book murder, but got a really cute purse out of the deal, so I'm okay with it. Frankenstein might commit murder on the big screen soon, too. Barnes and Nobles and Borders might murder each other and merge, rising from their joint ashes, which could be cool, but probably not. And hey, stuff about the real murder that inspired Stieg Larsson! Super fun.

All of this murder talk makes me think of murder's brother in arms, cash money. Contemporary writers just missed a golden goose, as Oprah chose Charles Dickens for her book club. He's dead, Oprah. He doesn't need your seal of approval to eat anymore. Romance writers are rolling the cash money as romance e-books thrive. Now the Hunger Games movie has a $60 million budget, which I'm happy to help them spend if they need, and Smashwords helped a single dad self publish himself from poverty to wealth. You heard it here first, folks: self publishing makes everyone everywhere a millionaire. Immediately. Always.

As for your lists, I give you: the best 2010 crime books, the books you need to be a critic, and must gives from Salonica and Omnivoracious. Don't forget these 10 trends in kids' lit while you're buying, and remember to buy your kids whatever they want to read, yeah?

Until next week!


  1. You heard it here first, folks: self publishing makes everyone everywhere a millionaire. Immediately. Always.

    I laughed so suddenly I snorted. Now my nose hurts. :D

  2. "You heard it here first, folks: self publishing makes everyone everywhere a millionaire. Immediately. Always."

    I can't tell you the number of people I've encountered who believe this. Or at least believe that self-publishing allows all its authors to make enough money to quit their day jobs.

    I try not to argue. I try to tell myself, "One less person querying is a good thing."

  3. "You heard it here first, folks: self publishing makes everyone everywhere a millionaire. Immediately. Always."

    And all those guys promising to get you published for just a few of your hard earned dollars ar the only ones really laughing on the way to the bank. I guess I'll just keep plodding along the old-fashioned way.

  4. Wow.

    Shocked. Dismayed. Disappointed. Not Surprised though.

    It really is becoming two sides of the fence isn't it?

    People who are indie on one side and the queriers on the other side.

    "You heard it here first..."

    What an attitude.

    Read J.A. Konrath's recent post and see just how many people are quitting their day jobs.

    I have. I write full time every day and make a huge living now.

    Oh well. Keep querying folks...

    I'll drive by you in my BMW in a few years while you are all on the unemployment line...

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and repost my response to Daryl. Yes, I think there is a fence, but I don't see it dividing the same thing you see. For me it isn't traditional publishing on one side and indies on the other. Instead it's long-termers on one and short-cutters on the other, and those have less to do with whether someone is indie than whether someone has take the time to hone their skills and polish their work. Perhaps if the trend in sub-pubbing continues and more and more writers of great quality surface among the indie ranks, it will look more like a valid business decision and less like a get rich quick scheme. I hope it *is* a valid option.

  7. Margo,

    Thank you for responding to my comment. First off, let me retract the last sentence of my original comment as I reread it and realized that I didn't need to be so unprofessional. Thank you for responding to the heart of the matter and not my malignant attitude.

    Even though I still see it as a traditional versus indie fence, I'd like to address what you said.

    I'm 100% indie. Although I didn't "short cut". I have been professionally writing for over 12 years. I was contracted by a cottage country magazine in Northern Ontario for a monthly short story for over three years. My work has won awards (6th place out of 20,000 entries in a world wide contest) and I placed 2nd in a great novel opening contest to name a few.

    I've had two short stories recognized as movie quality and as we speak are being considered for a movie rights deal.

    I've written four novels and over fifty short stories not to mention many more unfinished pieces.

    I chose indie, as we call it, to get my work on Kindle and Smashwords because I was not happy dealing with a literary agent. I have had nothing but negative feedback from agents and I have found the ones I personally met when I was in New York to be unprofessional.

    My choice to go indie has nothing to do with whether or not I am a long termer or a short cutter, because I am a long termer.

    I have paid over $10,000 for freelance editing fees to make sure my work is ready and I have had my novel covers produced by professionals. My covers have garnered favorable comments from even the most professional novelists.

    Sometimes I address the attitude of people seeking a traditional publishing route and wonder why they think I'm less than them when I have worked seriously hard to make the sales I make on Kindle. As of this moment, I am a full time writer. I do not work outside the home.

    I have rambled on. Thank you for listening.


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