Hello, round up readers I may have abandoned previously! I missed last week for good reasons though. I was busy clarifying Cary Grant's sexuality, correcting gender bias in children's books, plus opening a book store that only sells my book, and also writing every type of awful dating advice book.
No? Don't believe me? Well, maybe I was casting Bradley Cooper as the devil in a Paradise Lost movie, and voting on Max Barry's book cover, and also potentially advising Neil Gaiman on dealing with bullies. Still don't believe me? Ok, well, maybe I just didn't get my shit together. So... snaps to me?
Listen, my life is super hard. I have to deal with classic book mistakes and 3D sci-fi book covers. And I friggin' hate 3D. Also, I was busy watching Oscar Wilde style Jersey Shore videos and patting zombies and checking out this typography timeline.
There were also actually good book trailers, which is such a rarity that they had to be watched. I also had to read about the 75-year anniversary of Gone With the Wind (not that I really gave a damn), about the problems with American novels about terrorism, and about why everyone is so excited about the kids' book Go the Fuck to Sleep.
So, friends and foes, the long and short of it is: I'm full of excuses to explain away poor planning. And I hope you all accept the excuses of an anonymous blogger who doesn't get paid to troll the Internet and spew stuff about books into the endless void of interwebs. Wait, that was sad. Quick, smell some Karl Lagerfeld paper perfume and read up on writing rules for beginners. See you next week! You know, unless I flake out. Again.