Friday, November 20, 2009

Waffling On the Issues

And on the fifth day of the workweek, Eric rested and forgot to edit Laura's round up. Sucker. (Vicious lies! —E)

Buenos dias, amigos and -as. I thought I'd start with the bad, and just rip the Band-Aid off the day. Yes, I'm afraid it's true: Google does own your life. Well, it owns your orphaned books, at any rate. Google says it'll open "new avenues" for writers with out-of-print titles, but can you really trust the Goog? Especially when you know that they hosted the after-party for the National Book Awards and didn't invite you? To round out this section, which I have mentally titled "confusion and hypocrisy," I thought you should know that WalMart is denying any predatory pricing, and Barnes & Nobles won't let you buy e-books with their gift cards. But it's not all bad! Turn your frowns upside down, and check out the contest below.

B&N says they'll fix the e-book gift card problem soon, but Amazon has no intention of fixing its gift card problem: you can't use a gift card to buy anything bundled with a gift card. Womp womp. This no-e-book-for-gift-card thing is going to be a problem for romance readers, who are notoriously promiscuous with their formats. Harlequin is intent on cashing in on this promiscuity with its new imprints, Carina Press (for e-books) and Harlequin Horizons (for self-pubbers). A number of people have weighed in on the latter, most people being unhappy, unhappy, more, more, and more.

A problem these imprints won't come up against is being nominated for the worst sex (because romances are sexy). But some people have been nominated! This of course begs the question: where is the good sex in literature?

The good sex is (duh) in the last Twilight book, because it is sanctioned by the holy bonds of matrimony and vampire effing. The movie comes out today, as your scream-induced eardrum punctures should attest. See some sweet Twilight tats and products here, and see what National Book Award nominees say about the series. Spoiler: everyone tries to be nice, but kind of fails, because authors are awkward.

Speaking of awkward, those who have been reading Combreviations may have noticed that I am in lurve with things you can make with a waffle iron. So far we've seen waffle cookies, waffle cake, waffle bacon, and waffle brownies (that last one is courtesy of Alicia, my hero). In honor of my slight obsession, and, perhaps, as justification for buying a waffle iron, I'm bringing back Ye Olde Weekly Contest (please, contain yourselves). My challenge to you: come up with a use for a waffle iron other than waffles and the deliciousness above. Ground rules include nothing oddly sexual or distressingly violent. But other than that, I need excuses to buy a waffle iron.

So that's it from me, see you here next week, or all week at Combreviations.

21 comments:

  1. You can convert your waffle iron into a braille printing press.

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  2. You can melt crayons into fetching designs and call it art!
    Christi
    http://christicorbett.wordpress.com

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  3. "everyone tries to be nice, but kind of fails, because authors are awkward."
    That's an unfair generalization unless it means that if I'm awkward, then I'm an author.
    I posted a while back about the twilight tattoos and my own hasty decision...complete with pictures here-
    http://bookreadress.blogspot.com/2009/08/when-its-too-late-for-editing-ie-crazy.html

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  4. Are not perfect yeast waffles enough of an excuse--no--don't they make owning a waffle iron a moral imperative???

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  5. Not an original idea, but in one episode of The Office Michael uses the waffle iron to brand his foot. Or perhaps it was a Foreman grill. I do know he intended to cook bacon on it.
    (The iron, not his foot.)

    Extrapolating on this, perhaps applications in cautery?

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  6. You can make the most fabulous pressed sandwiches in a waffle iron. It's like a little panini-maker.

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  7. You can make so many delicious things in a waffle iron. Waffle omlettes (use lots of spray) Waffle potato chips, waffle hamburgers...okay, I'm going to go make a waffle chicken sandwich (cause that's how my people roll).

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  8. And I was looking for the brownie mention at Combreviations!

    I'm thinking about Waffle Muffins myself. Has anyone tried that?

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  9. The Waffl-E Book. You put a page of the book on one side, batter on the other and press together. Now you can read the book and then enjoy it with syrup later. The E in Waffl-E is for eating yum!

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  10. Sorry, the idea I had for your waffle iron has been suggested. Also, I wanted to comment on the NBA author remarks regarding Twilight. It is encouraging to see so many other writers, regardless of genre or personal tastes, realizing how wonderful it is to have another series (Harry Potter) hundreds of thousands teen, tween and in between kids are reading.

    Anything that gets kids loving books is great!

    Thanks for this thoughtful, amusing and intelligently written blog.

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  11. I like the "because authors are awkward." I can relate.

    Thanks. Good links.

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  12. Laura,
    Just wanted to say I love your new blog. Especially the links. Fabulous color choices. ;)

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  13. You had me till Waffle Iron LOL. Good info :P

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  14. You can use a waffle iron to steam interesting patterns into velvet which you can then use to make stunning haute couture, or maybe haute cuisine?

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  15. Maybe a waffle bagel or a fried waffle banana with whipped cream? Or a waffle tortilla with beans and cheese?

    Thanks for the tip on your new blog about the Jane Austen exhibit in NYC!

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  16. Makes those great to-die-for curls in your hair; eat your hearts out, stalker-girls and leave my curls alone!

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  17. How's this for justification: According to MarketPlace on NPR, there's going to be a shortage of Eggo Waffles until the middle of next year. Apparently an Atlanta facility flooded and their bakery in Tennessee is having equipment problems.

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  18. Kate - my friend told me about the Eggo issue and I made sure that Eggos were bought this weekend. Forgot vitamins. Forgot toothpaste.

    Did not forget waffles.

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  19. I wonder what would happen if you mixed popcorn kernels and some sort of edible adhesive like corn syrup and bunged it into the waffle iron? A waffle popcorn cake?

    Or maybe it would just burn.

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  20. Hey Laura, buy anything bundled without gift card like a empty things. But we can put the gift card with ourself right. Actually, it only a small matters.

    Cheers,
    plus size affordable clothing

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