This week, reader-types, I would like to introduce you to the phenomenon of "I don't write, I help." Because hey, I don't write. I help. First, you should take this advice about the thriving writing advice industry, because maybe that could be your topic. Well, think about it, take a walk—walking leads to literary greatness, I hear. That could be because little distractions can be helpful to writing. Something that is unhelpful to writing is people who give you false information that you in turn write about. And remember: only write your own signature, because you'll get caught for forging author signatures (who, you know, aren't you). And credit your lady partners, sirs and madams!
Once you actually get down to writing, be sure to be careful about the subtext (especially in children's titles). And be realistic about (magical) British boarding schools and (fictional) representations of nut houses. If you can't read but you're writing, here's a pictorial for getting an agent (just. In. Case.). And stop by Hot Topic before trying to read a classic—it helps!
If you're more interested in reading anyway, check out the best monsters in literature, and the true story behind Kidnapped. Not that the kiddos will read it, as they don't read fiction, unless its on their parents' bookshelf. Just get them their books at a toy fair, or put them on a DS, and they'll be fine. The whippersnappers don't even know how books are made. If only we had $2.5 million in seed funding to fund my new alt-book endeavor, or could make the school books interactive.
Oh well, reader-types—the children will never learn. Besos for you, sirs and madams, and see you next week (or all week at Combreviations, where I self promote shamelessly. As opposed to what I do...here...).